139 - Lost in my mind
139 - Lost in my mind
139 - Lost in my mind
This one’s long.
I turn 24 tomorrow, I know I’m supposed to be happy but I can’t help but feel extremely confused, low and I feel like the weight of the world is on me.
There’s a few things I want to get out of my head
I can’t help but compare myself to a lot of people around me, in terms of career, growth, where they are in life & where I am. I know that life travels at different paces for everyone but idk why I’m so consumed by everything around me and lot less focused on my own journey.
I don’t have a full fledged plan like a lot of people and I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but I would like to figure out a base idea for where I’d like to be in a few years from now and work towards it.
Unfortunately I have never been able to do only one thing in my life, like I can do one thing at a time but never just one thing. Multitasking is one thing; being a jack of all is another. I’ve seen a lot of people succeed by doing only one thing and becoming extremely good at it, and it makes sense that they attain that level of success because they don’t think about anything else through their day, in comparison to me who rations out my hours to think about certain project. So where does that leave me ? Should I hyper focus on only one thing for the next few years ? Or should I be okay with a delay in my growth as long as I’m doing a few things that satisfy my creative desires ? Idk
As a tech guy and just someone who works, I like a lot of my work life designed to be as efficient as it can be. However, for some reason, I haven’t thought about treating my own life that way. I haven’t thought about designing my life in a way where I can get stuff done with the least amount of effort. It’s always been - full speed, full effort, head first, get it done. Now that’s not a bad thing, but this kinda thing contributes to burn out more than anything else
If I need to fix 1-4, I’ve reset my entire life, which seems like a daunting but necessary task and I need to figure out how to do lesser, and not overthink.
I usually calm down in intervals when one of my friends or my girlfriend calms me down, but at most times when I’m alone, I’m lost in my head. I need to figure out how to breathe and calm down when there’s no one around me to hold me down.
Tomorrow’s a new day, I’m spending it all day with the cats and my girlfriend. Essentially family, and I can’t be more grateful to her and everyone I’ve gotten close to over the year.
I have a nice small group with enough people who I love and care about, I just don’t want to get left behind as they grow.
That’s all.
This one’s long.
I turn 24 tomorrow, I know I’m supposed to be happy but I can’t help but feel extremely confused, low and I feel like the weight of the world is on me.
There’s a few things I want to get out of my head
I can’t help but compare myself to a lot of people around me, in terms of career, growth, where they are in life & where I am. I know that life travels at different paces for everyone but idk why I’m so consumed by everything around me and lot less focused on my own journey.
I don’t have a full fledged plan like a lot of people and I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but I would like to figure out a base idea for where I’d like to be in a few years from now and work towards it.
Unfortunately I have never been able to do only one thing in my life, like I can do one thing at a time but never just one thing. Multitasking is one thing; being a jack of all is another. I’ve seen a lot of people succeed by doing only one thing and becoming extremely good at it, and it makes sense that they attain that level of success because they don’t think about anything else through their day, in comparison to me who rations out my hours to think about certain project. So where does that leave me ? Should I hyper focus on only one thing for the next few years ? Or should I be okay with a delay in my growth as long as I’m doing a few things that satisfy my creative desires ? Idk
As a tech guy and just someone who works, I like a lot of my work life designed to be as efficient as it can be. However, for some reason, I haven’t thought about treating my own life that way. I haven’t thought about designing my life in a way where I can get stuff done with the least amount of effort. It’s always been - full speed, full effort, head first, get it done. Now that’s not a bad thing, but this kinda thing contributes to burn out more than anything else
If I need to fix 1-4, I’ve reset my entire life, which seems like a daunting but necessary task and I need to figure out how to do lesser, and not overthink.
I usually calm down in intervals when one of my friends or my girlfriend calms me down, but at most times when I’m alone, I’m lost in my head. I need to figure out how to breathe and calm down when there’s no one around me to hold me down.
Tomorrow’s a new day, I’m spending it all day with the cats and my girlfriend. Essentially family, and I can’t be more grateful to her and everyone I’ve gotten close to over the year.
I have a nice small group with enough people who I love and care about, I just don’t want to get left behind as they grow.
That’s all.
This one’s long.
I turn 24 tomorrow, I know I’m supposed to be happy but I can’t help but feel extremely confused, low and I feel like the weight of the world is on me.
There’s a few things I want to get out of my head
I can’t help but compare myself to a lot of people around me, in terms of career, growth, where they are in life & where I am. I know that life travels at different paces for everyone but idk why I’m so consumed by everything around me and lot less focused on my own journey.
I don’t have a full fledged plan like a lot of people and I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but I would like to figure out a base idea for where I’d like to be in a few years from now and work towards it.
Unfortunately I have never been able to do only one thing in my life, like I can do one thing at a time but never just one thing. Multitasking is one thing; being a jack of all is another. I’ve seen a lot of people succeed by doing only one thing and becoming extremely good at it, and it makes sense that they attain that level of success because they don’t think about anything else through their day, in comparison to me who rations out my hours to think about certain project. So where does that leave me ? Should I hyper focus on only one thing for the next few years ? Or should I be okay with a delay in my growth as long as I’m doing a few things that satisfy my creative desires ? Idk
As a tech guy and just someone who works, I like a lot of my work life designed to be as efficient as it can be. However, for some reason, I haven’t thought about treating my own life that way. I haven’t thought about designing my life in a way where I can get stuff done with the least amount of effort. It’s always been - full speed, full effort, head first, get it done. Now that’s not a bad thing, but this kinda thing contributes to burn out more than anything else
If I need to fix 1-4, I’ve reset my entire life, which seems like a daunting but necessary task and I need to figure out how to do lesser, and not overthink.
I usually calm down in intervals when one of my friends or my girlfriend calms me down, but at most times when I’m alone, I’m lost in my head. I need to figure out how to breathe and calm down when there’s no one around me to hold me down.
Tomorrow’s a new day, I’m spending it all day with the cats and my girlfriend. Essentially family, and I can’t be more grateful to her and everyone I’ve gotten close to over the year.
I have a nice small group with enough people who I love and care about, I just don’t want to get left behind as they grow.
That’s all.
Aug 27, 2024